3 starting points of your personality

Virtually every encounter in your life is judged by your personality against these three standards

1. it has to be fun
2. others have to like you
3. it has to be good

Now when all three judgments result in a big "yes", then the world, according to your personality, is fine. Now when a situation fails to live up to these expectations entirely, then his worldview is no longer completely matching with his experiences, and this in itself causes tension. Do not fool yourself on this one, your personality uses very black-and-white thinking here. If you are not "for" him, you are "against" him. So when someone or something does not meet one or more of these 3 standards completely, then that means "against". Only you have taught yourself to deal with the unpleasant feelings that stem from this process (how big are your chances that a situation can meet all 3 standards entirely) in a way that block the feelings, or put them in a perspective, or make them otherwise more or less acceptable to you.

An example: you buy a present. You do not like to do that, the recipient hopefully will like you because of it, and it is a good thing to do.
Next example: you are building a box to store toys in. You like to do that, even though you are on a quite tight time schedule due to other obligations. Your girlfriend thinks that you are very nice because you are doing this, and the overall result is a great box.
Another example: you are being robbed. That is not a funny experience, the thief obviously does not like you, and neither is it seen as a good thing.

The first situation will cause a medium tension in you, because there are some aspects that can hopefully turn out for the good, so there is a chance for your personality to make this whole thing acceptable to you. The second situation contains almost only positive ingredients for your personality, so he can score very well here, only the time issue is a little disturbing. And the third example will no doubt cause quite some tension, as your personality cannot find anything here to make it work for you.

Now what can you do with this knowledge? You can use it to get to know the patterns of your personality, and learn to focus your awareness on the complete process of judging > feelings > getting rid of the feelings or strengthening them, rather than focusing on the last part of it only. And the more you become aware of this process, the more often you can choose to no longer strengthen it, no longer put any energy in it to maintain these patterns and believe them to be a truth in themselves. Thus you diminish the influence of your personality on your life and there will be an increasing amount of mental space available, which will be filled effortlessly by your inner Self.