Addicted to "wanting more"

Whenever you start with something, it seems like you only want more of it. More of the pleasant circumstances, but also more of the unpleasant ones. Why is it that we can be so excessive?

Your personality will judge a situation and label it with various labels: good on one hand, but there can be easily assigned a label "wrong" as well. Wrong will call forth automatically (and guaranteed) some feeling of guilt, a feeling that you are likely to want to get rid of. That is why you are never really happy. Someone who has a lot of money feels guilty because there are others who do not have it. A person who eats a bag of cookies at once, feels guilty because that is not supposed to be good for him. Someone who is angry with another person feels guilty over his expression of it. Someone who starts with one glass of alcohol, is likely to end up with having drunk more. Etc.

And still: whenever you are angry, you enter a familiar routine in which you become more and more angry, say more nasty things until you feel that the other has surrendered. When you start with the bag of cookies, it is your plan to only take one or a few, never to eat the whole bag. And yet, the pleasant sensations and the need for "more" are stronger than the feeling of guilt that you know will follow, but is only experienced in full after the last bite. People who have a lot of money do not give to charity without some personal gain, it is a way to diminish the guilt feeling that arises from the huge difference between have and have not. Meanwhile they will still strive for more money, more profit, and the vicious circle remains.

Wanting to have more serves two familiar goals of your personality: offering nice sensations on one hand, maintaining grip through guilt on the other hand. Wanting more bodily sensations or acting on "have to's", give rise to the idea that you body would be the one dictating what it needs and what you should have to do to satisfy these. Thus he is trying to solve the the question: who is in charge, body or mind, in favour of your body

Now what about negative sensations? Wouldn't it be weird to want more of those? No, as more is more. And someone who finds himself in deep trouble, gets a certain status from that. Others will have some consideration with him because of his limitations or difficulties, or he can use it to prove that nobody wants to be in contact with him. So he gets a confirmation that his ideas are somehow true. Should you take that away, then he would no longer be special anymore. That is for example one of the problems when dealing with addictive behaviour: by kicking off the person works himself out of his special position, and that is a pity. If you cannot get attention in a positive way, then personalities use a negative one. You can see this pattern already with very small children, and we have not outgrown these patterns.

Many people have learned to control themselves, but that is different from no longer having these excessive needs for more. Your personality wants you to forget that there is a choice as soon as the need arose in your mind: you do not have to fulfill the need, and you can bring your focus of awareness in the here and now to remember this choice. Furthermore: simply be aware that you feel and act out these excessive needs, and become aware of the fact that it does not bring you anything you really want. Usually slowly yet certainly the grip of your personality will decrease.