Being afraid of the silence within

The absence of the continuous claim of your personality on your conscious awareness, brings you to the experience of silence within yourself. Silence means that you need no external input or thoughts to feel good, and experiencing this can be called silence. If there is anything that is nót cultivated these days, it is learning to deal with silence. There is always some form of distraction at hand, with music and tv as most important tools. Even if there should be little or no input of this kind, your personality will still try to avoid the silence within you.

Take a closer look at the way you deal with time you have "left", like in the car, in the bathroom, under the shower, during a simple activity like gardening or household choirs: chances that you actually experience the moment itself are rare. It is more likely that there is a lot of mental activity going around, be it as simple as commenting on what you are doing at the moment. This is a familiar pattern for you. Thoughts are the basis of your personality. To him, silence equals emptiness, nothing.

Dealing with silence, more timeless experiences and other characteristics of your inner Self, has to be learned. Not because it is a skill you have to master, it is very familiar to you and incredibly pleasant and natural. Only since your personality is left out of this experience, you may well expect him to want to re-establish his way: being alert, perceiving, judging, and then labeling the experience as unpleasant or unwanted for some vague reason like boring, annoying, have to do something else, fearful, lack of control etc, anything but to have you focus on him again.

So being "afraid" of silence and likewise experiences is natural (since it is the logical judgment of a personality that finds himself in a situation he cannot control), however, it is not a ground for not exploring this any further. Like all other things: open up to the idea, do not force it on yourself, become aware of the perspective of your personality and remember this is a logical aspect of the process of undoing that you are in. The moment will come naturally where you are ready to extend the moments in which you experience your inner Self, which is likely to occur when the strength of your personality has somewhat diminished. Then you can really experience this, and even though your personality will still try to change your mind in his favour, now you have a new strength in yourself that can choose not to do so for a while.

Experiencing silence is not similar with the absence of noise or other input, it is minimizing or even the absence of the entertainment of thoughts that arise in you and other things your personality comes up with to draw your attention, thus creating mental space to experience your inner Self. So it does not matter whether you do this in a situation with a lot of input or only very little, for a personality there is always something that can be used to distract you. Of course when you find yourself in a situation of great silence, the principle can stand out very clear to you.