An unhappy childhood

Everybody had a more or less unhappy childhood. Simply because childhood is the period of time in which we learn to become a personality. And that means moving away from a place of neutrality to one with an either positive or negative outcome, thus creating tensions and emotions, experience them, learn to deal with them, hide or avoid them, etc. And you had to learn that the personalities of your parents are but a set of choices in life, that they are not perfect, that they have their limitations, and will not be ever-understanding or have all the answers. So it is likely that ultimately your feeling of loneliness somewhere deep within will increase during this process.

Yes, but my parents ... yes, yours must have been different from normal, according to your personality. Either you were more sensitive, to which they did not respond appropriately. Or because your father drank a lot, which cannot be justified, and this has marked you. Or because your mother had to work in the shop too. Or because you moved to another city. Everybody is hurt and marked, simply as it is impossible to have a personality that generates pleasant experiences only. It does not matter what circumstances you were in, you would have become hurt and lonely anyway, just like everybody else. Only these feelings were new and unfamiliar back then, and you did not know how to solve them or get rid of them. It is also likely that you interpreted this as a personal failure, rather than as a common process. And that means that it is not that important whether the situation through which you learned these lessons seemed very intense to you or more subtle.

Your personality may try to find some form of justification in your childhood through which he can explain his failure today. As nobody's personality can make this personal world really work, everybody is looking for excuses why he or she cannot make it happen. Your childhood experiences could be one of them.

But your childhood is over now. It no longer has an influence over you, unless you choose NOW to use the interpretations of a growing personality with only limited insight as an actual source of response for a situation, many years later. You now have more possibilities to see things in a new perspective, especially now that you have learned the difference between your personality and your inner Self.

A "happy childhood" by the way may have a likewise effect: when your personality wants to use something to protect him, then he may use this to state that "it all was better in the olden days". Because some day, somehow, you will really start to notice that the world according to your personality is not funny at all.