Now what when you are in a situation that you really cannot control

When there is really nothing you can do, then why look for a solution when there obviously is none? Okay, let's stop kidding. So you are looking for a different solution than the ones your personality comes up with, and the reason for that is likely to be that you do not like the situation that you are in right now (for example dealing with the loss of your partner, getting a new boss who is 20 years younger than you while you thought that you were the best person for the job. Etc.). The outer circumstances can be seen as a fact, as solid. But you do have a choice in how to experience the situation: through your personality or your inner Self. 

Your personality is likely to come up with a list of all the consequences that he perceives here, and automatically includes the label: unpleasant. He will also come up with an incredible amount of thoughts and feelings in order to justify this process. You will find yourself re-thinking all these thoughts, adding all kinds of related facts, thus using a very energy-consuming method to deal with all aspects involved. Only when most of this process is done, you are likely to find yourself having some attention span left to live a more or less normal life.

An unpleasant situation, however, offers you an excellent choice to become aware of all kinds of thoughts and ideas that you may not even have been aware of, and deal with them in new ways. You can have them either be processed through your personality in the way as described above, resulting in a neat package of "dealt-with feelings" (which could be re-opened with the right trigger and occasion). Or become consciously aware of the thoughts that come to your attention, and choose for your inner Self to deal with them. Thus you allow yourself to decrease their intensity.

There are all kinds of unknown side-effects in what your personality calls an unpleasant situation, that may hold out great gifts to you in time. You get new friends. Or you will start looking for a new job. Maybe now that the stress of the unspoken expectation that you would be chef once has gone, you can start to spend your time on other things, and you may become a great painter or .... At least you may find that what was labeled "unpleasant only" by your personality, now offers you some new aspects that you could not even imagine then.