Compare yourself to others

Your personality always compares itself to others. And the result of this is you either are 'good' or 'not good'. Your personality has obtained a number of criteria with regard of looks, success etc., and you will meet many people who, maybe even for the slightest bit, do not meet these criteria. This allows you to feel better than the other person, which is very pleasant for your personality, since this were to mean that you are 'good'. A less pleasant situation occurs when you meet people who live up to these criteria better than you do, since now you have to face that it is possible that something is 'better' than you yourself came up with right now, and - again according to this same mechanism - this now means that you yourself are 'not good' and this is of course seen as unpleasant. For example when you think of or meet people who are more successful, own more, have better looks, have a great relationship, a better job, etc.

Depending on your personality, you will respond to this by opposing the other person, work on minimizing the difference - thus minimizing the tension it causes within you -, push the other out of your awareness and maybe even life, make the other person look as wrong as possible, or try to make him jealous, or whatever creative solution your personality comes up with.

The solution to this lies in becoming aware of the personality mechanism itself. At this moment you are specifically trying to get rid of the experiences that result in having to label yourself 'not good' as soon as possible in the abovementioned ways. Thus you uphold the mechanism itself, as something vague you better not take too close a look at, and can only hope for better results. However, you will not continue to do things that do not bring you anything you really want. The comparison game is maintained because of those times where the outcome of the principle seem to be able to give you a 'good' feeling, and allow you to feel better than other people. So focus your attention on those times where it comes up with these 'good' feelings and take a close look at what it is that it is really offering you, only to find that it can be no more than a make-believe feeling at the expense of your acceptance of others. Here you find the true key, once you realize this in full, you will no longer invest any energy in repeating this mechanism over and over again. Not by repressing, simply by truly seeing what it is really offering you.