Deal with it constructively

Often enough you are told that your desired contribution were to be a constructive approach towards e.g. an organizational change at your work. What does this mean? Literally it means that you help to build something, however, the fact alone that this word is needed, implies it is a kind of call on you to let underlying issues you have with it, not have too many effects on the process itself. These words are often used in reorganizations where people are told they have to leave and yet are asked to function normally until that moment arrives in time, in situations where there is a lot of resistance against a decision, in situations where points of view are intensely defended etc.

This is a personality-control issue, a call on a workable situation with a somewhat hidden acknowledgement that there are less pleasant aspects to a situation, however, also the desire of those who are leading in this process of change to not be bothered by this too much. It implies the wish that each of the persons involved is able and capable to recognize and translate the underlying issues in himself into something good for the situation at hand. It is an appeal to keep personality feelings like powerlessness, rejection, defense, wanting to be right etc to yourself and not have them influence the process, nor to expect others to smoothen the way for you.

Even though there is certainly something to the idea which says: put the responsibility for creating the pain there were it is actually made - which is in the person who judges and interprets what is going on, often enough an approach like this turns out to practically become a time bomb rather than a serious solution. Like during the process itself you are likely to notice more or less obvious resistance, people making things more difficult than necessary, and opposition. Since when you know how to deal with this through your personality only, a process like this is quite an attack on its self image and likewise experiences, which always results into forms of tension, and personalities usually attempt to act this out on the person they believe to be the cause of it.

A true solution to the underlying pain in a problem situation cannot be found through hiding it from your awareness, nor through diverting your attention, it can be found through becoming aware of it in full. Then you can become aware of the process that is really going on, the interpretations your personality makes in the first place, the unpleasant results which follow from it - that which happens is not according to his wishes and expectations -. Which then has to be labeled as 'wrong', at first because you have to face that you did not succeed in changing the situation in favour of your personality and 'so' you are weaker than the others, and secondly because this interpretation also does not meet the standard enforced on you that you should be 'constructive', which adds to the idea that there is something wrong with you.

Feel the burden of the results of your own interpretations, of which your personality wants you to believe that he is doing you a favour with them. Then realize that it is your own choice to endlessly repeat this mechanism. There is an alternative available, as you may read in many different columns on this site: stop doing so and thus make mental space available for something élse within you to deal with every situation in your life: your inner Self.