Defensive behaviour

You may be familiar with the idea that defensive behaviour is likely to increase when a person feels hurt time and time again, or cannot get his worldview accepted, and has created a defence mechanism as a reaction. The signal that you pick up when you meet a person who does this, is: you are dangerous, I am afraid of you, I do not allow you to get any grip on me or come close. Now that is not a very warm welcome, and personalities do not appreciate such an attitude. Because this shows that the social patterns that we have woven so carefully together to somehow make it quite acceptable here, now obviously cannot be applied to this situation.

When a personality meets a person who is defensive, you are likely to become defensive yourself against these assumptions, and a well-known reaction may be: attack. Well, not much fantasy needed here to imagine how this contact will work out.

You could also choose to approach the other person, inspired by the intentions of your inner Self, a.o. by remembering that the other person also has an inner Self, and that he may have only forgotten that more or less. You may now perceive the reactions of his personality, but you no longer believe that they are a truth in themselves. You can now see them as the expressions of a personality that is hurt. Now you have a chance to prove to yourself and the other person involved, that there is another way to be in contact. And, even if it is only for a very brief moment, you help yourself and the other person to break through the seemingly endless cycle of painful experiences and closing minds by personalities.

Everybody has an inner Self. When you can accept that everything else is made by personalities through judgment, interpretation, standards, values etcetera, then behaviour only expresses some experiences of that personality in the past. A personality will state that is "him". But when you can see the inner Self of the other person, then you can see the behaviour of that person, no matter how difficult or acceptable you may find it, as a thing that can be transformed when the experiences they are based on, change. So offer a different kind of experience by approaching the other person without judgment, and based on the intentions of your inner Self.