Egoism, what is it actually?

It has something to do with yourself, and that you like yourself more, or consider yourself to be more important than others. Now this is the standard of your personality, whose job it is to create a life as pleasant as possible for you. However, it is "not done" to openly talk about this. It also has to do with getting things done your way at the cost of others. Now when you want to see sports on the tv and your partner doesn't, then who is selfish? When you want the last cookie and someone else too, who is selfish? You need to come up with quite a good story to make situations like this "work" anyway.

It is quite an utopia to believe that your personality would not be involved in making sure that your personal needs are met, and not taking good care of these. When a beggar asks for money and you give it to him, it makes you feel good, now who is egoistic here? This example also shows you that the same situation can be used to promote the opposite: that you feel bad when you do not give. Since there is a standard somewhere that says that it is "good to give to the poor". When this beggar starts to yell at you the moment you hand over your money, it is less fun as well, since he now does not meet the expectation that he should somehow show that he has noticed your gesture and that he is grateful for it.

The word egoistic is likely to be used when it starts to notice that you are obviously taking good care of your own needs. That is why there are so many variations where you do things that may not be too pleasant for your personality, but show off very well to others since you help or support others here, and these others like you for that. Picture the situation where you baby-sit the annoying child of the nice neighbors.

It is neither right nor wrong that your personality acts egoistic, it is what personalities do anyway, only then start to cover it up as much as possible. Only your inner Self is capable of giving unconditionally and free of personal interests, either of Himself or in material ways. Since he does not judge the situation for which he gives, nor the people involved in it, nor is he concerned about the results of his input. You will know what your Input in a certain situation has to be (or not). What really matters is that you have chosen to strengthen your inner Self in yourself and others, thus your encounter served everybody involved to break through the vicious circle which has been upheld for so long by your personalities. By the way, since this results into you being more peaceful, taking responsibility for your own acts, learning to accept others unconditionally and other very pleasant effects, you might well put it like this: even though the change begins within you, awareness of your inner Self is the opposite of egoism.