An essential step along the way

During the process of looking at all the things your personality did to get rid of his original interpretations of a situation that involve "wrong" and "unpleasantness", there is an essential part that he keeps hidden very, very well: he also projects these feelings on your inner Self.

And that is why he hates your Self, and he will have you believe that you should not take a closer look at your inner Self, because in his opinion it is only disaster there.

Why is that so? In the columns about the origin of your personality, you learn that it originates from a little piece of your Self that experiments with separating itself from the Whole, and be everything your Self is not. As soon as this little piece starts doing that, it also feels unpleasant, but hey, that is not the thing it wants you to experience, otherwise you would not want to go with this idea in the first place.

Now when you want to get rid of those feelings, the first thing that is around is: your inner Self. And your personality thus projects these unpleasant feelings on the inner Self, and proclaims: the Self is unpleasant, but I will create a world for you that is fun. Now that you are aware of this, you may also notice the enormous amounts of ways that it created to keep the inner Self from your awareness or at least place it "out of reality". Look for instance at the intense reactions on words like "God", or "spirituality". And people who do deal with it must be labelled "suspicious and weird" beforehand.

This also explains your resistance to even start with anything on this point. Because you are about to do something that your personality has labelled dangerous, annoying etc. And thus he will put a lot of effort in preventing you from even starting with it, and keep you focussed on his points of view. It also is the reason that you seem to fail when you start with it: you become a bit more aware of your inner Self, and the next thing you know is your personality bringing about everything he has to prove that that was wrong. And it all seemed useless and untrue.

If you put it this way, then is there a way out? Of course, your personality does not have any power in it self, other than the belief you put time and time again in his ideas, interpretations, way of looking at the world etcetera, and you can learn to face them and stop reinforcing them. Same applies to the ideas described in this column.