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Judith Hamerlinck
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Like an explosive bin?
(or: why the pleasant feelings diminish so soon)
Often when people get enthusiastic about their inner Self, you can find them regular practicing meditation, yoga, exercises, attending seminars and support groups etc. The enthusiasm gained during those meetings or practices, very soon seems to turn into a feeling "that it simply does not work that way", and making you choose your old, familiar way once again. It almost seems as if you are allowed to feel those
very pleasant feelings only during moments that are special and set apart.
And yes, that is in fact true. During a meeting or exercise you strengthen your inner Self successfully (which is a very pleasant feeling by the way). Now, when you assume that your awareness is a kind of bin in which you will find your personality as well as your inner Self, and you imagine that you increase one of those two without diminishing the other, you may well assume that pressure is rising within that
bin. And sooner or later that will lead to problems. And because your personality usually is the strongest when you start, it is very likely that he will be the successor over your inner Self when it comes to who has to shrink again in order to diminish the pressure. This you will experience as the old patterns and behaviours returning, and the approach through your inner Self being unsatisfactorily.
Now this does not mean that it is wrong to do exercises or attend meetings or practice. However, it indicates that you have to take care at the same time to become aware of the role of your personality, and learn to let go, diminish the energy you put in it. And as you practice, you will notice that some daily situations have become more sensitive to the awareness of your personality (you have become more aware
of the real role of your personality, and that leads to feelings of unpleasantness). Now you have a choice: hide the feeling as usual, or face it and make the conscious choice to no longer believe and strengthen it.
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