Fantasies

In what your personality claims to be the privacy of your mind, he beliefs he can surrender freely to all kinds of fantasies. A fantasy will help your personality to deal with a situation that he does not like too much, is not perfect, does not meet its needs, is boring, unpleasant, absent or whatever, by not having to experience it too intense and replace it with an image you created yourself which doés meet the demands of your personality. There are many moments in which you do this: varying from what you are going to do when you win the lottery, how to deal with this person that is standing in your way, to an impossible love. It is easy to show yourself that it has to do with a need that is not met: it is very unlikely that Bill Gates fantasies about winning the lottery, and I assume it needs no explanation why not ;-)

The basis of a fantasy always holds elements of the absence of the essence of yourself and others. In your fantasy, others do what you want. The situation now evolves in a way that suits your needs. You can take a different point of view without having to face a loss of credibility. Problems are solved. You no longer have to deal with this unpleasant feeling. In this way, it is an ideal method in which you limit others, situations and yourself to certain specific aspects, control these to your liking and thus experience a desired feeling, while not being distracted by any practical input which could disturb this picture. When you take a close look at this, and become aware of the tension, aggression, unease and need for control within you which usually are at the basis of your fantasy and for which it offers 'solutions', you can no longer deny it: it is a personality mechanism through which he can uphold the illusion that certain situations that he cannot make work for you in real life, could be solved eventually.

A fantasy is a fine way to take your mind of having to find the real cause of your uneasiness. As long as your mind is working out your fantasy, you have created a great escape through which your worldview has become more acceptable for a while, a theoretical possibility that in another context, with other means, another person, a different setting, things could work out, only to allow you to return gently to everyday life without having made any serious progress in discovering the real source of your feelings, nor feeling forced to work on acting out this fantasy, since fantasies usually are so far out of reach that you not even expect them to become true.

A fantasy that does come true, is not nearly as great as when it were a fantasy, since then it simply gets in the line of all your normal experiences and has to be judged and interpreted in full by your personality, which will lead to a much less happy experience than you expected. The happy expectation of the unreachable brought within the illusion of possible reach for a moment is much more fun to your personality. This is also the difference between a fantasy and a wish: the first one you actually do not expect to come true, your commitment to the realization of the second one is much bigger. And all this time it brought you some pleasant feelings which your personality could not offer you otherwise.

Whether or not thoughts are as personal and neutral as your personality wants you to believe, is questionable. Something that comes to mind, on which you focus and direct your thoughts to, is upheld and strengthened at least in your mind. As a replacement or way to let off some steam it is quite nice, but not a solution in itself, since the pressure is built up time and time again and you will have to use it over and over again to deal with that. A true solution is always found at the very beginning where the interpretation itself was made: why did you interpret in the first place, it only brought you unpleasant feelings for which you needed fantasies in order to be able to make something of it. You could start with questioning yourself: what need my personality believes he has is not fulfilled and for which he makes this fantasy as a replacement. Then realize: this need is an idea my personality has introduced, and not a truth in itself. I can choose to no longer uphold this need.