You should not have this feeling

In your normal everyday life you are likely to notice the following mechanism frequently: you experience a feeling as a result of a situation, and this feeling is unpleasant. Or it is not a níce feeling, like jealousy, wanting to be right, irritation or rejection. Your personality knows from experience that he cannot score even with you when he reacts to this to his liking without any filtering, however, he finds himself stuck with the tension as a result from this feeling and the plain necessity to get rid of that, preferably through projecting it onto someone or something else so that he himself will not be blamed.

When you suspect that something within you is likely to at least have contributed to the creation of this unpleasant feeling, your personality is not unwilling to work with you and look within. For this, he has come up with the following: besides still blaming the other person at least in part for giving you this feeling (when the other person did not ..... you would not have had to experience this feeling), he now also focuses on something within you and states: yes, but you should not háve this feeling. There is something wrong with you that you have this feeling. It could have been pleasant, were it not for you having this feeling. A popular reaction based on this 'insight' is to perceive the situation which causes tension, and being a good girl/boy in perceiving it is 'wrong', and then attempt not to react - which is not likely to be very successful as you practice this ;-)

In this case your personality attempts to find the cause for the feeling somewhere within you, yet especially nót with him. As if there were something besides your personality which creates this kind of feelings, and can be 'adjusted'. Only what this were to be, you do not find. Which is not surprising, since there is nothing but the mechanism of your personality which creates feelings. This whole action is nothing more than an attempt to come out as the good guy in the end and attempt to rescue what can be rescued, namely the impression that he could make everything in your life be pleasant for you, if only not .... and these dots you can fill in with everything but himself!

Realizing step by step that it is indeed your personality which is at the basis of your unpleasant feelings and even has a good reason for creating these, is a fine start to decrease your investment in the mechanism. The pleasant perspective here is that there is an alternative to your personality: your inner Self, and so you do not have to attempt to make an impossible mechanism work anyway if you do not want to. Furthermore, Awareness is not about nót reacting to tension and feelings, it is about becoming aware of which steps were taken before they came into being, and realizing you have a choice there. This whole site is about this process.