Feeling guilty

As great as it is for your personality to be able to blame other people, it is a far less funny game when other people start to blame him for something. And it gets even worse when from a check against your own values, rules and standards it turns out that the other person is right after all, since feeling guilty is a very unpleasant feeling.

And it "means" several things as well:
- someone else is right (not you)
- you are not free of failure and untouchable
- a penalty can be expected, and that will be unpleasant
- this kind of situations should be avoided in the future.

Now in itself your personality is right, as this is the way the rules are made in the world of personalities. So everybody is likely to put quite some effort in the action of blaming others in return, or at least have the other person involved feel guilty as well, in order to get rid of as much of these unpleasant feelings as possible.

However, you can use the issue of "pleading guilty" for increasing awareness as well, thus helping yourself and others to break through the vicious circle. Learn to see the situation that called forth this reaction as neutral in itself. It is only your interpretation that gives rise to guilt feelings. Breaking a mug is in itself a neutral thing. It is the interpretation of the owner of the mug, that of the person who dropped it, and people who were around when it happened, that make up these "meanings". People may believe that "you should not get away with this", and likewise responses that will have you relive the whole event over and over again.

There is another choice: simply stop to accept blame and guilt feelings. Pure awareness, by being consciously present in the situation that calls forth the interpretations and reactions, will help you to face the whole personality process without strengthening it by entertaining the thoughts that arise from it. Beware though of the pitfalls: defense, denial, blaming others etc., as they are guaranteed to bring you resistance and other unpleasantness in return. Remind yourself that you do not know what this really means. Whenever you talk about guilt, you are focusing on the aspect of personalities in yourself and others. When you shift your focus to your inner Self, you simply offer other people the freedom to do the same and no longer having to justify, defend or prove themselves to your personality.

How you will express this new awareness is part two, leave that to the inspiration of the moment itself and your inner Self. It may be that you still say something like "sorry", however, the intention from which it stems is a completely different one, so will its effect be.