For ever?

One of the favourite things of your personality is using NOW as he sees fit. Normally he escapes this moment as much as possible through planning, doing, reflecting, projecting etc., however, when things get very unpleasant, he somehow tends to forget these escape mechanisms and focuses on the present much more. He then tells you that things will be as bad as they are right now, and that it actually only can get worse from here.

You will find this kind of reaction emerges in situations where your personality feels rather powerless. This narrowing down your focus is then one of the rare things that he has left to maintain his grip on the situation, since the idea that NOW is "wrong" and things will always be this way, usually offers a lot of opportunities to start worrying, thinking through all kinds of scenarios etc. Your personality looks at any situation and experiences it according to the more or less pleasant outcome of his judgments. Your inner Self sees the same situation as a means for increasing awareness of Itself. Remember that in time all situations change, not one situation stays the same for ever. Aspects and ingredients will change, and sooner or later your interpretation will change as well.

Your personality does not see any value in processes, he wants goals and outcome. The idea of a life different from his standards for success, yet with a great amount of inner Peace, still is not an attractive goal for him, and you will experience this without a doubt. You will hear your personality say things are wrong, not right, have to change, this downward process has to be stopped, etc. He wants "back to normal", return to the way it was before this all started and it where it seemed that he had grip on your life. That is why when you find yourself in trouble, you experience a lot of unpleasantness from facing these more or less hidden success factors of your personality and letting them go. Each situation contains the possibility of experiencing it from a new perspective, even though your personality only looks for the one where his success and control are restored to him. You will find that it is likely that you will learn to let go partially and make some progress in creating mental space for your inner Self, and find that your personality maintains its grip partially. This is normal, you will deal with that remaining part a next time, a process like this is likely to follow a step by step pattern.

Sometimes it seems that things are taken away from you. For example reading the paper, watching tv, certain contacts, financial possibilities, mobility, certainties and successes. Seen from the perspective of your personality this is qualified as a loss. Seen from the perspective of your inner Self you now use whatever is left for you, which usually means that you temporarily have more time available to move through a process of increasing awareness without too many distractions. My personal experience learned this is always temporary, and once the period is over, these things are either restored to you and you see them in the new light of your increased awareness, or they stay away and you simply do not miss them anymore. This too is just a phase in the process of awareness of your inner Self. Oh, and when you get exited over this idea and want to stop with certain things or cancel them out of your life: remember this is your personality taking over once again, using it for entertaining the idea: "watch me, how well I deal without all this".