Four practical columns

As you may read on various places here on this website, your personality endlessly repeats the following process: perceiving > judging/interpreting > feelings > hold on to or get rid of feelings.

It is the speed with which you move through this process which makes it difficult to get a grip on it. Consciously becoming aware of these individual steps, however, will help you here. For example through writing it down. A simple A4 page with four columns can serve you here, as you may see from the examples below.

I perceive this	my own standards and values	I create this feeling	this is how I attempt to hold on to or get rid of this feeling
cylinder with brown liquid	- tea belongs in a cup - red mugs are not nice - you cannot criticize this when you are a guest	unpleasant (a bit)	attempt to hide it
man with filled plate who eats fast and makes noises while doing so	- eating fast is inappropriate - do not speak with food in your mouth - eat calmly and enjoy your food - it has taken X minutes and effort to make this, and this should be appreciated.	unpleasant (quite a bit)	say something about it and hope the other will change
computer screen	- this computer game is fun - I can get a good score with this game - being good in playing this computer game is desired	pleasant	continue to play the game and deal quickly with disturbances and/or try to prevent things from interfering
two people in a room talking and having different opinions	- people should not criticize me - I have to be 'good' - my way of looking at this is right - that of the other person is wrong - others should agree with me	unpleasant (very)	discussion, arguing, fighting and attempting to change the other person

perceiving: what a total stranger, maybe even a Martian ;-) would see
judging/interpreting: the 'rules' you apply on what you see. This is almost always more than one, often also contradictionary, simply write down those that come to mind at this moment. This is about awareness, and that will come in 'layers' anyway.
feeling: always pleasant or unpleasant. The only variation you could make is: very pleasant or very unpleasant, however, that refers to the intensity of the feeling itself, not whether its essence is pleasant or unpleasant.
hold on to or get rid of feeling: the standard ways your personality uses to do so (which usually do not work, so after that you will attempt other things ...

As you will read in the other columns about this, process you now need do nothing to change this, it is the awareness itself which helps you let go of your investment in these patterns.

To increase your understanding, you may also take a look at the column more than one judgement.