It only seems to be getting worse

When you begin with remembering your inner Self, you are about to change an existing situation. You will make changes in the amount of energy and attention you put in your personality and start focusing on your inner Self as well. The balance that was so familiar to you now has gone, and like everything that gets out of balance, a movement will occur between the two aspects, in this case your personality and your inner Self. You give attention to your inner Self, thus increasing the remembrance of that aspect, which asks for a counteraction from your personality, who experiences a lack as big as the attention that it lost.

Especially in the beginning this may appeal very discouraging. Thoughts like "but I am doing my best", "I was right on track, why does it have to return to the mess it was before" are likely to come up regularly. The whole process now can become extremely unattractive, because your personality is the first to label this process as a kind of failure, and an advertisement to stop getting in touch with your inner Self.

But there is another interpretation possible: it is a sign that you are doing very well in the process of remembering your inner Self. Your remembrance has increased, which causes the unbalance. That's fine. Now all you have to do is find a workable amount of imbalance that you can tolerate and which keeps you in the constructive mood. For the one even the tiniest imbalance is enough, another person may need huge differences to be able to make these changes. That is fine, just find out what works best for you and stick to that. If you would go at a pace that does not match your personality, you are likely to turn this whole process into some form of bomb that will explode sooner or later in a very unpleasant way.

Becoming more aware of your inner Self comes with a more clear view of the true creations of your personality, and you will find that that is not really attractive when you take a close look. So be prepared for this kind of unpleasant confrontations for which your personality no longer can come up with convincing diversions, interpretations and reasonable reactions. You are likely to experience this in some form of stress and anxiety, but you do not have to believe anymore that it has a power within itself. It is through everyday practice in ordinary situations that you can practice time and time again to stop strengthening the ideas of your personality and bring your attention to your inner Self. This will really make a difference. Theory is good, a taste of the pleasant effects is fine, but practicing the choice is the proof of the pudding, there you can see where you still harbor old personality thoughts that you are not yet ready to let go. For example, relations with people are experienced as pleasant when the people involved are friendly to you, it is much harder to value a contact when they are annoying, angry or not cooperating. And a universal truth has to be true in both situations.