How to BE your Self

It is not that simple do describe how you "do" a thing that ultimately consists of "doing noting". But, let's give it a try. To begin with, there has to be a tiny bit of space between the frantic thoughts and discussions in your head, to be able to start with remembering your inner Self.

It is very normal that you have a lot of thoughts. It seems like a kind of market place: your personality will shout out all kinds of things, regardless whether they are appropriate, to the point, useful etc. You now have a choice: entertain a thought, or just let it pass by. And entertaining means: there is a thought, e.g. a thing you might do. Normally you would work with that thought, like thinking about what it is specifically that you would do, how you are going to do that, what you would say, how the others would react etc. You now had a whole conversation "in your head" about that thought. But there is a choice: simply do not start that series of thoughts. That does not mean that the shouting of all kinds of thoughts will disappear, what it does mean is that because you no longer entertain them, they will soon disappear (this will even become more structural as you practice it).

And because you usually can only focus your attention one one thing well, you now have mental space left. You can even slow down your personality by telling him that, should he want to focus on something, he can use your breath. That is so very boring, that he will soon back off and the mental space is there for your inner Self again.

And then? Focus your attention inward. You might want to close your eyes to do so, but it is not necessary, it could help you to avoid distraction. Noises, feelings and other input for the time being is no longer a source for entertaining thoughts or planning actions (but do allow yourself to become alert immediately when emergencies arise or people that you are responsible for or any other situation, really needs your attention). You do not shut yourself out of any situation, you simply notice without the need to react unless necessary. It is your aim to make space for your inner Self, not to suppress thoughts or hide your personality.

When you do this, you will notice that "something" in you will fill the space you have made. It will feel very familiar. That is your Inner Self. Peaceful, soft, non-judgmental. May sound a bit boring, but wait until you really experience it!

Allow this feeling to be, as long as you are comfortable with it. Be not surprised when it may take a while to learn to notice the difference (especially when your personality "keeps quiet but still in charge" and wants you to believe that you now experience your inner Self). And remember that even though experiencing your inner Self is very pleasant, you will want to return to the well-known feelings of your personality, simply because you are used to them (and of course because your personality will promote that!). Furthermore it is very likely that you soon will start to "forget" to do an exercise like this, or after a few seconds are reminded by your personality that there are all kinds of necessary and exiting things waiting to be done, that are much more important than this silly exercise in doing nothing.

So: do not force these things on yourself, take it easy. Maybe even start with exercising only a few seconds. And once you start to value the experience of your inner Self, the time you spend with it will naturally increase. Do not fight the thoughts that your personality will bring to your awareness during this exercise. It is not an exercise in being free of thoughts. You also might consider that you wait about five seconds before you act on the suggestion of your personality to end the exercise, thus reminding him and yourself that it is not always common to react directly to its input.

In this way you will avoid tension and disappointment. It is very ambitious for most of us to compare yourself with people who somehow seem able to do this for half an hour per day, or even more. It is not necessary to do so. You can obtain fine results by setting aside brief moments for yourself during the day, that is ambitious enough for the moment, you are about to change a lifelong pattern, that in itself is a big challenge!