Huge problems?

When you look at it from the outside, it often seems so very unpleasant when someone is experiencing huge problems and cannot find a way out anymore. And you yourself often put a lot of effort into avoiding that a thing like that might happen to you. An endless search for tips, lists, rules etc. should help you with that. Your interpretation of what your personality believes to be unpleasant experiences in others, is likely to have you somewhat close your mind on that person, or stay away, start reasoning, believe that you know better, think that you know what the other person feels, etc. And it also makes sure that you are likely to react with some panic when you believe that a somehow likewise experience is about to happen to you.

Your personality only perceives the outer expression of such a situation, and is likely to judge it as unpleasant. Because he cannot see or value the transforming value within the experience itself. It is something like giving birth: he can perceive the pain that the mother-to-be is experiencing, and yet he cannot imagine what her real experience is, because he has not been through it himself (so this example is not valid for mothers who read this).

Until that moment of surrender, it is very likely that he still considers this or that to be able to bring you some form of relief or solution. This is always something that he can arrange for you, or organize, or a rule that he can make you follow. No problem, simply explore his suggestions, until you get so tired of it that he will stop by himself.

Everybody's experiences are unique, because the basis on which his or her personality creates these emotions, is unique. The transforming value hugely consists of the possibility for this person to live through this experience in his or her own way, and that he can use it to let go of the limitations that his personality has laid upon him. What can be very helpful here, is someone who has the insight that this is a normal and very useful process. Within a safe environment this letting go can be a relatively easy thing to do. And when there is someone who can help you move through the emotions that accompany it, simply by accepting your process, then that may be quite helpful. That is why trust, a shoulder, a big box of tissues and a listening ear (without any advice!) usually are the best medicine here.

And, from personal experience I can tell you: the best thing that ever happened to me, was living through the moment where my personality admitted that he could not make this work for me, and really allowed my inner Self to come into my awareness.