Justification

One of the tricks that your personality likes to perform, is to justify things. Your point of view, your feelings, your experiences. An example: lately I had to make a phone call with a helpdesk. I had to wait for ten to fifteen minutes before I could actually speak to someone. They promised to call me back, which did not happen. The second day I made three of these phone calls, without any result. And the third day for at least an hour I was handed over from one person to another and to the next, and received the same answers as the day before, and had to believe that things would turn out right this time, even though noting had really changed. Now this was a challenging series of conversation for the remains of my personality.

Why? This is where justification comes in. It is very easy for your personality to come up with a great amount of reasons why his point of view is justified. However, he cannot come up with one that will make the unpleasant feelings go away that stem from this whole process. The only thing he knows is: blame someone else. What he makes you forget, are his own standards with regard to:

- how fast someone should answer the phone
- the way in which a problem should be solved
- how he should be treated
- that helpdesk employees should take responsibility (read: blame) for the errors of their organization
- etc.

all this just in order to prove that he is right and someone else is wrong. A very tricky one is: yea, but if you do not tell them, then they do not know that people are dissatisfied and they will not make changes. Keep in mind that your personality uses the filing of a complaint and stuff like that as a way to release tension, and that comes nowhere near taking responsibility for your own feelings and reactions.

Make a choice to use these situations to practice. Be consciously aware in the reactions and feelings that follow from your interpretations. However, do not believe them to be a truth in themselves. Use it to learn to become aware of the patterns of your personality, and make a conscious choice to no longer strengthen them.

Dissatisfaction and the tension that this will create within you, is your personal problem at all times. Once you have neutralized these feelings, you may or may not find yourself informing someone or an organization about certain aspects in their approach (but this will usually be not the case).