Logical that you do not want to look within

Actually it is very logical that your personality has such a resistance to look within. Since he is the aspect which made it necessary for you to hide things as much as possible from your awareness because of all the labels 'unpleasant' he assigned through judging. And who on top of that, wants you to forget the experience of your inner Self which can be found there. So be not surprised to find he is not eager to focus attention inward, since for him the reasons why he hid these things from your awareness in the first place, are still legitimate, and so your idea to start looking at it anyway is highly unwanted. Now this is likely to result in more or less unpleasant experiences, because of the reactions he comes up with, your own reasoning which you would álmost start to believe yourself, and the creative ways in which you will 'forget' to give attention to it anyway.

So when you notice that you actually do not want to look within, then realize this is normal. Seen from the perspective of your personality it is about asking for trouble. Only do not believe this to be a truth in itself, nor the reactions you experience as a result of this. You now see why increasing Awareness is accompanied by unpleasantness: because a.o. you are going to look at issues your personality labeled as unpleasant and 'thus' wants to hide from your awareness.

Do not force this process on yourself, and follow it in what are logical steps for you, which are usually quite small. Since otherwise you find yourself fighting against your own resistance only.