Miscarriage or not getting pregnant

Once the idea about a new life enters your mind, you are likely to open up to new possibilities. There is literally a happy expectation, even before you are actually pregnant. You stop using precautions, and wait for things to happen. You may expect something: since you used these attributes to prevent you from getting pregnant, it is very logical to your personality that once you stop using these, you will get pregnant automatically (and right away is a normal assumption that accompanies this). Each month there is a natural "checkpoint" to see "if things worked out", which is surrounded with expectations and disappointment when "it did not happen" this month.

Ideas about a wanted pregnancy are usually accompanied with a mental brightness and joy, in which you somehow experience a pureness and warmth which does not stem from your personality. You are likely to associate this feeling with the expectation of new life, and since this intention rises above the separated state of mind of your personality, you may now experience your inner Self much easier than before.

Now your personality does understand somehow that he cannot demand "new life" to enter, however, he will do as much as he can to get this whole process under his control. Not only is he the maker of your expectations, he is also the aspect that will make you feel disappointed when things do not work out as he had planned. He will try to regain your faith in him by coming up with explanations on why it did not work out, why things went wrong etc., however, he will also supply deep feelings of rejection, loss, and the idea that there is something very wrong with you.

As a contrast with the very pleasant feelings of your inner Self you have now experienced, this difference is quite unpleasant. However, since it is not likely that you knew these pleasant experiences came from your inner Self, you will not question the loss of these feelings since it seems normal to lose them together with the loss of pregnancy or expectation. These feelings of unpleasantness are likely to get more intense since your personality now has to admit more or less that he cannot make is illusion on being in control of your life, come true (although he is likely to attempt to use medical explanations, articles, books, nutrition etc. to try to hide this from your awareness). This will usually cause more or less intense feelings of irritation, anxiety and depression (you may want to read the column on free will as well).

Once it turns out that you do not get pregnant successfully within a reasonable amount of time, your personality will take over this process more and more, and the possibilities to use it for spontaneous remembrance of your inner Self will decrease dramatically. Before you know it, this whole process becomes a technical performance on creating new life simply because your personality thinks it is now time to become pregnant.

The thought on new life can remind you of experiences in which you are more one with other people than the limited worldview of your personality allows into your awareness. The gift of a new life that does not come, or ends early, may be for example intense awareness of and experience with another part of yourself than your personality. As long as you hoped to get pregnant or felt that you were pregnant, you experienced some form of increased remembrance of your inner Self. The embryo may have inspired this remembrance, however, it was you who opened up to the experience and thus created it within your own awareness. The loss of the embryo or the expectation of getting pregnant may invite you to recognize this feeling is possible and that you can remember it on your own.

When pregnancy is successful, the memory of these experiences with your inner Selves seems to be the basis for unconditional acceptance from the parents of the child, where the parent can overlook al seemingly mistakes (for which you may read: interpretations of the personality) and remember this pure love for the child. This is much more difficult with the child of someone else, since there the personality aspects in the relation usually are more prominent.