Misuse of you

There can only be misuse when there are rules for use. So once you notice within yourself that you feel misused, this in itself is a fine signal to start looking for the personality rules for use which lay at its basis. Misuse is a judgement, and not a truth in itself. It is about a personality item being used in such a way that another person has an advantage out of it, which was not meant to be since if any, the advantage should have to be on your side.

I mean here especially those rules your personality makes for contacts with others. There you will find a great variety. A popular 'series' is: you must do/be able to do it yoursélf, you must do the work within yourself, you must do or not do things without being told, you must put effort in it, a gift is not a right, everyone should do his share. These are all rules which make it easy to qualify for an experience of misuse as well.

You may for example fancy a rule: a person can ask me something when he truly does not know it, and when he has attempted himself first to find the answer. Now when someone comes to you who you believe has not met this rule (or already has a reputation with you), and this person asks you a question, you experience this as misuse, since according to your personality this person attempts to get an advantage (do not put too much effort in it). And because now you are the silly one who cannot make his personality rule true, you will not want to, or be reluctant to answer. You will no doubt be able to come up with a great variety of this kind of experiences yourself.

The judgement 'misuse' usually qualifies for quite strong personality reactions (and fast ones, that is why you almost do not notice what lies at the basis of it). Since he believes it means a direct weakening of himself in relation to another person, who is usually in his immediate surrounding, and the other person 'gets away with' an ease or pleasantness, against your rules. So now he himself is the silly one here, which is not a popular thing to recognize.

Your personality believes his own judgement is justified, and so what happens is 'wrong'. Therefore he believes that the other person should change and meet his standards. Besides this, your personality believes that misuse should be prevented or at least that he should have prevented misuse from happening. Also, the above means that your personality believes he has to determine the rules and the goal of a contact.

Awareness is about becoming aware of these personality standards, and let go of your investment in them. The alternative is not about you being heavily misused, the alternative is about allowing your inner Self to be in charge of goal, content and frequency of your contacts. Do recognize more and more that you can fully trust your inner Self and that you do not have to use your personality to defend, avoid of rescue anything.

Besides becoming aware of what it is that your personality is doing here, you can also simply ask your inner Self to inspire you to see this situation differently.