Get it out of your system

Normally your personality will try to get rid of the unpleasant feelings he brings up by, subtle as it can be, blaming someone else. He has interpreted a situation and in the process he has already blamed someone, who now is labeled the "cause" of these feelings that he got stuck with. Now the other person will get it! If he/she is out of your reach, you will tell others what the other person did to you in order to establish the blame and getting justice.

Why do you not simply express your real feelings? Stop fooling yourself? Since your personality does not want to face its own thought patterns, he does not want to take responsibility for it. It is much easier and more fun to blame others. You got an intensive training over the years in how to hide it, because these direct responses are not socially acceptable (not in the least because the other person whom you attack, gives a reaction in return, and normally does not accept your "blame"). Your lifetime training is comprised of a.o.: learning to be reasonable, understand other people, consideration, assuming things are not always done on purpose, that there are different rules than the one you use, etc.

Just between the two of us: that may be, but your personality still believes the other person is guilty, and this means that you will still have the first reaction, with the familiar feelings to accompany it. That's what personalities do, there is nothing wrong with that on itself. Only when you have enough of that game, you start to undo all the layers you have woven to hide your real feelings and their origin, and get the courage to face them. Simply by becoming aware of them.

The process is not a pleasant one for your personality, which would rather endlessly distract you than face the original thought system. Since you will recognize instantly that it cannot bring you anything you really want. You could do with some help, even if all you have to do is become aware of your original thoughts:

gently express your real thoughts in your mind. This is easy, it can be used any place at any time. Disadvantage: it remains a bit hidden, your personality can easily manipulate and distract you and "gets away with it".
write down your real thoughts. It should then become clearer to you, because you not only consciously use words to describe it, you also see it in front of you. Do not judge these thoughts, or yourself. Just read it once and then tear the paper apart and throw it away, it has served its purpose.
speak out loud about your real thoughts, without anyone near to hear you do so. Again: an extra step, where formulating, speech and hearing are used for extra awareness

last but not least: do the same exercise when someone is present. Do tell your listener(s) to not react to whatever you say, not to start a discussion or tell you whether you are right or wrong, especially not to believe what you are saying. The last thing you should want is someone to take you seriously for these thoughts, because that would strengthen them.

These are great ways to deal with the patterns that are at the base of all those feeling, irritations, anger etcetera. They do not mean anything in themselves, they are the results of interpretations of your personality. You can learn to release them. Do it at your own pace, and do not force it onto yourself, otherwise your personality will put extra energy in defending himself.

An example? I mind that you don't pay attention, for now there is a scratch on the table and I have to face that day after day. It cannot be repaired in a way that will not be noticeable anymore. It is simply stupid of you, and I hate it. My table is no longer perfect. You should have known better. You do have eyes don't you! (how do you express yourself normally? Probably something like: oh, never mind, we will fix this.)