Practical changing

You find yourself in an unpleasant situation, one in which you are really looking for a different approach. What can you do? Here you find a series of steps you can undertake. And when you like to go more deeply into this, you may want to check on the BEcourse change.

Start with realizing that your goal should not be to be without the problem or the old situation, rather accept that it is your goal to let go of all investments you have made into this situation. This alone can bring you real peace of mind. Maybe, or maybe not, there will be some changes involved, but they are not the thing that you are heading for in itself. Change is not your goal. Being free of the feelings of guilt, failure, powerlessness etc. ís.

What is it that is actually bothering you when it comes to change. For a start, there is the investment of your personality in the old situation. Now when you judge this is somehow lacking and changes have to be made, your personality will immediately start to defend the old situation, since your new judgment has automatically turned the old interpretation of the situation into a wrong one. There was somehow a judgment laid on the old situation, be it a 'good' one or a 'bad' or unpleasant one. And now your personality also pretends to know what the new situation should have to be like, he will not like it when he cannot determine how it should be, you will have to face the uncertain period between the old and the new, when the new situation has not settled, etc. So you can rest assured: change in this way will bring uncertainty, situations to get used to, things your personality will get grumpy about, which all in all will turn the whole process of change into an unpleasant series of events.

So you may want to consider to invite your inner Self into a situation where change is seen as the bringer of solutions. And if you start practicing on small issues, you can easily get the hang of it, and gain confidence in the process for when bigger issues are likely to occur.

perceive what is going on
notice your thoughts, ideas and feelings you are experiencing in the moment. You do not have to dig for them, or analyze or judge them, nor justify yourself. Simple perception will do.
accept that your personality has these thoughts, ideas and feelings right at this moment. This is your starting point.
now briefly describe what you see as the problem: "I believe that he should be nice to me and he behaves terrible. I would like to have him know that".
again, accept that this is the problem as your personality sees it, then choose to remember that this does not automatically imply that this is a truth in itself, nor that the suggested reaction automatically is the one you have to carry out. Open your mind for other ways to look at this situation.
then choose to no longer invest any energy in acting out the old response, and ask your inner Self to inspire you to deal with this situation in new ways. Accept the risk that people might overwhelm you, get all the power, your perceived needs are not met, and whatever objections your personality may come up with.
bring your attention inward, for example by taking a few deep breaths, go to the bathroom, have a drink, go for a little walk. Then vividly bring into your awareness the state of mind that you are really looking for as a result of this situation. You may want to help yourself here by making sure that you have some short sentences at hand to help you focus your awareness clearly.
maybe you will notice some unpleasant feelings, resistance or fear. This is your personality who attempts to make you give up your investment in this new way, thus hoping that you will return to him and stop making him weaker. Do not oppose these, however, do not encourage this either, simply perceive it.
and should you then feel like saying something or doing, then do as you feel inspired. If you do not feel anything at all, that's fine either. Maybe you will know later, maybe it turns out that you do not have to do or say anything at all. This is not about reacting, it is about your choice to use this for awareness.