Put pressure on someone

Seen from the perspective of your personality it often seems so logical: someone has a problem or issue, you have heard or know from experience that people can move through this or overcome it, and 'so' your personality believes that the other person should work on this.

Since this person usually does not do so out of free will, and does not react to your first subtle signs or not fast enough, the pressure builds op within your personality: becáuse it seems that it can be overcome, it also seems that the other person holds the problem in place while it also could be otherwise, it could be more 'pleasant' when the other person ....

Sooner or later the issue of putting pressure on this person is about to become an option. You confront the other directly with the issue and request the other person to work on this, or work harder, different, put more effort into it. For his own convenience, your personality states that the main issue is with the óther person. Of course, he does want to help to find directions for solutions and such. But the óther person has to change, right now please, and if not, unpleasant sanctions are threatened to be effectuated. This should be an encouragement to start working on the issue, with the idea 'prevent worse from happening'. That it is a signal of powerlessness because all more pleasant and more subtle options were not successful, combined with insisting that his point of view is correct is conveniently forgotten by your personality.

That the other person maintains those patterns because they bring his personality something, that change therefore to his personality does not equal improvement, ánd because putting pressure also does not help to increase the feeling of safety, this approach is guaranteed to lead to problems. Since your personality becomes more and more convinced that the other person shoúld do something about it, while the other person feels more and more threatened and concentrates on defence and safety.

You can break this pattern yourself, and work within yourself with your own issues. These you can find by facing everything this situation calls forth within you, all your beliefs, and use these to increase Awareness. Remember that it is your personality which wants the other person to change and meet your judgements and standards. Set the other person free. And you may well have confidence in the certainty that when you do your own homework, something will change within your contact, since you no longer carry out your part of the pattern!