Put into perspective
Below you will find a number of very common judgments. They are often source of intense fights, evenings and days of silence between people, etc. Now when you look at the list, do you see any reason for such intense reactions? No, and that is correct in itself, this is not about the cause itself, it is about the feeling that arises from it that you are threatened in your existence
when someone does not recognize and value you for what your personality has taught you is "you".
- the potatoes were not well-done
- your daughter was five minutes late for dinner
- your partner forgot to do the shopping you asked for
- your boss did not use your proposal
- the tv shows a program you do not like
- you do not feel recognized for something that is so obviously true to you
- you do not receive a compliment on a job well done
- you make a mistake while finding your way in the car, and you have to travel an extra mile
Now when you find yourself in a situation like this, it may be wise to take a time-out. get away from the heat of the moment and the intense impulses of your personality to compensate the unpleasantness (preferably by attacking the person who caused it). This can be done easily, for example by going to the bathroom, or simply saying: I recognize that my personality is trying to get
his way here, I take some time for myself and will return to you.
Then face the fact that is is your personality that is at work here, and that it does not matter which form this takes, whether or not it seems "much" or only a slight bit. His interpretation of the situation is the starting point, everything else is only a result from that first step. If you like, you can bring your attention inward for a little while, for example by focusing your
attention on your breathing for a couple of times, thus taking away the intense concentration on the thoughts of your personality.
Your personality may now want to put things into perspective, since this recognises the basis of the original judgment and upholds it, while trying to put its results into a different context in which it can be labeled as "less worse". You see that you are still stuck with the original judgment. Your inner Self can truly see that it does not mean anything in itself, and this allows
you to let go of the energy you invested in entertaining and maintaining these ideas.
Then choose to be consciously aware in the ways your personality suggest on how to deal with the situation at hand, or your experiences with the new way of dealing with the situation (when your time-out has taken away the need for counterattack and justification) through your inner Self (and the reactions of your personality that will guaranteed follow this).
In this way you learn to undo your belief in the fact that your interpretation is a truth in itself, and use situations that may seem unpleasant to face the thought system of your personality (this will soon make you remember that this does not bring you anything you really want).
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