A question is a question is a question …..

Your personality states that each time you pose a question, you are looking for information. And yet, for a start, a question inspired by your personality is never a neutral thing, since it is asked with a certain intention. You may for example ask a question with the intention to learn something, control, or question a certain situation. So the basic-intention will vary, from the need for knowledge, insight and contact to control issues, wanting to attack someone, expose weaknesses or injustices, call forth reactions, etc. Many questions are attacks in disguise, wrapped in a socially acceptable cover.

As mentioned before, a question is fuelled by an underlying intention and it is an instrument to direct the attention of both yourself and the recipient in a certain direction. On top of that, it automatically introduces the expectation that an answer is appropriate. And when the question is inspired by your personality, it is very likely that you have an image beforehand of what this answer should be like: its intention, length, intonation, trustworthiness etc.

Being on the receiving end of a question, your personality will of course check at first whether or not he has the information and if he wants to share it and if so, in which way, what it will make him look like, etc. So your personality hears the question and reacts to it, usually in a defensive way by the way.

When you compare the intentions from both popper of the question and recipient, you will see that a question immediately and automatically introduces an element of tension, if only for the difference in expectations and intentions. But also because the one person wants to know something that the other person does not want to share, or when the question suggests an interpretation the other person did not mean. It often literally is a way of asking for trouble.

Then why do we do this so often anyway? Maybe because it is such a popular way to question things without having to take a stand. To introduce doubt without having to obviously pose a different opinion. To let people expose themselves while being on the safe site yourself. Hidden within a question your personality can weaken another person without having to make himself vulnerable. Attacking the other person without this being too obvious. Sharing a feeling without naming it. Suggesting freedom while being in control. Express your feelings without being to explicit. Etc. And when the other person makes a remark, all you have to say is 'I only ásked'. So it has all the ingredients of a perfect personality tool.

The practical side: when a question comes into your awareness, either because you initiate it yourself or because someone else asks you something, this in itself does not do anything. However, once you start interpreting the input and judge it to be 'legitimate', this implies that you now somehow accept the fact that something needs to be done with or about it, and this alone creates tension within you, the tension of an unfulfilled need. And when the question is asked of you, there is the expectation of an answer, which means that the ball is in your court and other people may expect something of you, which - according to your personality - puts you in the weaker position, not in the least because he cannot be sure yet that your answer will bring you results according to your liking.

How to get rid of this tension? Seen from the perspective of your personality, the best way to deal with it is: deal with it as soon as possible, meet the demands, start working on it. This all serves the same goal: remove yourself as soon as possible from the original situation which has now been labeled 'wrong', and being on your way is a good start for that. This also holds out the promise that the period during which you have to face this tension, will be as short as possible.

Seen from the perspective of your inner Self, this is not about dealing with the tension itself, since that is only a result, three steps away from the moment where it was caused in the first place. Finding a solution for the tension itself is no more than working with symptoms, which may well serve you to take a breath, but will not cause any real changes.

What you could do, is go back in time and relive the process, starting with the moment in which you perceived the question. Face the reactions your personality has chosen and the hopes he has on desired results, and what these actually bring him. Many columns on this site may help you with specific situations. Then go back in time again to that first moment and realize: in itself this does not mean anything. I do not have to interpret this. I can simply surrender it to my inner Self and ask for inspiration. And should you believe that you do not have time to go through this process at a given time, then at least take a few deep breaths or count backwards from ten and bring into your awareness what it is that you really are looking for, to start making a change in the way you deal with these things.