Regrets

Regretting is about: something happened in which you played a role, and when you look back on it, you rather would have done things differently. In the moment itself it seemed like a good (or least worse, or logical, correct, justified, unconscious etc.) action or decision not to act. However, the reaction which followed was not what your personality had hoped for. On the contrary, you have to fully face the fact that the results are nót to your liking, that you have hurt someone, that you damaged something beyond repair etc. And the intensity of your interpretation of this outcome is stronger than the 'righteousness' you assumed when you undertook the action, and this is unpleasant.

And now regretting is a convenient personality tool. Regretting states that things should have been different from what has actually happened, because you wanted a different outcome. And now regretting is a mechanism through which you can diminish the intensity of these judgments and the accompanying experience of 'wrong'.

Usually it aims at being judged more mildly by others, since especially their reactions and interpretations are the ones that bother you through your interpretation of these, although almost any situation with an unpleasant outcome has a potential for regretting. This is followed by the social expectation that you do something with these regrets, that you express a kind of 'mea culpa', somehow repent and express through your behaviour that you know this is something which should be avoided or prevented in the future.

You may regret having fought, or having scolded at someone. You may regret not having finished high school, having broken a teacup at your neighbors', etc. Often you will be reminded that regretting is an appropriate reaction, where others blame you for what you did and are troubled by their own interpretations thanks to you.

As long as your personality believes the mechanism of regret should be repeated, you can creatively use it for your process of increasing Awareness as well, through recognizing the steps as described above in the process. Become aware that it all started with the 'righteousness' of your personality about his original action. The convenient part of the mechanism of regretting is, that you at least start questioning this.

You need not oppose the mechanism, you repeat this because you believes it stops things from getting worse and that were to be a good thing. Although you could simply stop at the part where you notice 'unpleasant', without attempting to weaken the intensity of it (which is something different from hiding these feelings!). Do not look for justification or replacements, that is not what this is about.

When you truly face the steps you act out within this mechanism, you automatically decrease your belief this can bring you anything you are really looking for. Inspiration from your inner Self, for whatever action, takes away the 'need' for this mechanism altogether. And your inner Self neither judges the 'consequences'. So also invite your inner Self more and more to inspire your actions.