Rejecting and accepting

Your personality wants what is good for you. He is not eager to do things that you do not label as "good".

When you reject something in other people, then you give two signals: whatever it is that you reject in the other person is unwanted, and the alternative obviously "is" wanted. The good part for your personality about rejecting things in other people, is that he can now feel better than the other person, since what he rejects obviously is not desired by him. Now when you are completely honest with yourself, you will have to admit that your personality rejects almost everything that he does not have himself, which, by the way, makes it very easy for him to deal with this worldview.

When you accept something in other people, then you give two signals as well: the thing that you approve of in the other person obviously is wanted, and the alternative "thus" unwanted. Now the unpleasant part of accepting something in other people, is that they usually have something that you do not have, which automatically makes your personality uneasy, since now you obviously lack something that is approved of by you. Genuine approval therefore is very rare and is usually applied only to things your personality does not judge himself by, or to things your personality already has or approves of.

Now your personality often uses the principle of rejection for justification by labeling things that he does not have or believes he cannot have, in a way that it is logical for him to not desire them. So he rejects things in order to make it acceptable to you that you do not have it. Even though both are interpretations of your personality, be sure that they are at the basis of the way in which your thoughts and the experiences to follow, will evolve from there. It also makes it harder to change something that you have made subject to this principle, since that would seem to contradict with what you had judged to be good for you: you rejected the alternative in the first place.

Become aware of the automatism that whatever it is that your personality disapproves of, THUS means that it is not desired for you, and that the alternative obviously is. Only you usually are not aware of the alternative, and it may surprise you what it may be. So practice this regularly and use some of your popular assumptions to do so, and use it to especially become aware of the alternative that you are automatically rejecting. Like: I disapprove of someone being successful SO it is good to not be successful. I reject that someone is in love, SO it is right for me not to be in love. Etc. It does not matter how "right" or "wrong" or "weird" it is.

Rejection is inspired in the first place by the unpleasant experience the recognition of the lack within you has caused, and the above mechanism has become a popular way to deal with this. It is by becoming aware of this two-in-one mechanism which will inspire you to let go of it altogether.