When your relationship is over - more about Love

When you see love as something that you can only get from someone else, then the end of a relationship means the end of your experience of love. When you see it like this, then this cannot but be considered a very unpleasant event, and this is the most common way in which personalities see it.

Your personality is not in charge of love, and he is fully dedicated to not have you discover this. That is why his motto is: love as an experience can be tolerated, but do not directly lead it back to yourself, it is acceptable when dependent on others only. With this way of looking at it, your personality can use it in various ways, like he can deprive you of love, you will certainly not look within and keep on looking outside yourself, with others, etc., thus it is safe for your personality that you will not discover that it can never come of him.
This also limits your experience of love considerably. Yes, you experience love. However, your personality limits the situations in which it is appropriate to open up for it, to the max, and only a very small group of people may be used for it. Within this small group you even tend to limit it to special moments, and often decide you need special circumstances or behaviour as well in order to allow yourself to open up for it.

According to your personality, you can not unconditionally love the baker or your neighbor. This is highly due to the fact that he has assigned to love certain forms of expression, and seen in a social light, it often is not very smart to apply these universally. However, the experience of love is one, the way you express it, is another issue. And your personality only limits you yourself by stating that you are not allowed to love all kinds of people and comes up with many reasons for that: people who do something wrong, who are successful, people who are dirty, who reject you, your boss, etc.

It is not true that love is limited, that is a self-made limitation from your personality which he uses to highly limit your perception of the true nature of love in order to limit the 'damage' for himself as much as possible. Love does not depend on persons or circumstances, Love starts within yourself, it is a characteristic of your Self (so it is already there), and from there it spreads naturally. You can remember this, and others can do so as well. That is why your experience of love does not depend on the presence of other, special people, even though it may seem that it is easier to open up to Love in the presence of certain people - however, that is your personality again.

When you recognize Love within your Self like this, then you automatically can no longer blame the person with whom the relationship has now come to an end. Since at first it seemed that the other person deprived you of a special and very pleasant experience, now you know this is impossible, you can only deprive yourself of it.

Also, realize that all other aspects of revenge you may hold against the other person, stem from your own interpretation of failure, from the personality idea that the other has deprived you of something, weakened you, done something to you etc., and this too you can learn to see differently, look for example at the column on forgiving.