Standard personality action disguised as resistance

Your personality believes that he represents your free will, and 'so' being your Self means that you cannot do your will. So each step you take on the road of remembering your Self, he sees as a kind of sacrifice on his part. However, sacrifice implies that you still believe that your personality is right in his basic assumption and that 'this other thing' obviously seems to demand that you deny yourself.

And to make things extra difficult, your personality projects the experiences of everything which is not him, as much as possible as coming from outside yourself, so that you seem to make these sacrifices for someone or something else, which perfectly fits the personality goal of maintaining himself as your only reality.

Like with everything, on top of this your personality demands something in return for what he gives or allows. Since no matter how you twist or turn things, your personality never gives anything 'for free', he always expects something in return, be it a certain feeling only. Not in the least since in the worldview of your personality, 'giving' equals 'loosing', and when this were not to be compensated, he would only lose by doing so. Which is not a popular item for him.

In this situation, he demands in return of allowing an experience of the essence of your inner Self, an experience of hís essence. Which is always an experience of fear, be it in disguise or not, simply because the essence of your personality is fear. That is why becoming aware of your inner Self often seems such a tiring process: each time you have an experience through your inner Self, this action is to follow!

Your personality may like to label this as necessary, unavoidable or normal resistance. Resistance has an air of being justified. Something is attacked, and it is only logical that this is not immediately welcomed. Thus you are likely to let him have his way since you know opposing is not a healthy solution either. However, nothing is attacked and this is not resistance, it is simply a standard step he always chooses to follow a situation where mental space was made available for something élse than himself. And as such it is a choice which you do not háve to make. It was meant originally for those situations where your goal was maintaining the strength of your personality, and yet becomes useless where you let go of that wish.

You are likely to recognize this experience no doubt in your everyday life as it is now, especially in those situations where you experience some form of Love (which is about being your Self), or something where your personality obviously had no influence. Chances are that you are likely to notice these are followed by e.g. an unpleasant feeling or plain fear, or disguised as irritation, physical issue or such. Now you know whý this happens and that this is not some personal mistake of yours. This is what personalities do.

Face the process as it happens and see the individual parts of which it contains, then you will no longer be able to repeat it as serious and powerful as before. See that it is a choice to maintain the strength of your personality and yet this is not a truth in itself. In order to be your Self you need sacrifice nothing, and your Self turns out to be the place where you find your trúe free will. You were simply mistaken in how things really are. That does not matter, you can let go of it now.

The intensity of this action usually equals the intensity of your experience of your Self. That is why it is not recommended to make too great steps in the process of becoming aware of your Self since that would mean you have to face - as long as you repeat this choice - those intense actions to follow as well.