Respecting others

Respecting others is about the way you look at another person and the way in which you have this effect your relationship. As such it is a judgement, and so it is a personality mechanism. Respecting is about making your own way of looking at a situation secondary to that of another person, and about not opposing the other person (directly or in your thoughts) as fast or intense as you would normally do, and about a different way of approaching this person.

You may respect someone voluntarily, e.g. because you believe this person to be smart, wise, successful. Or you may be forced by reactions or in other ways to accept what another person says or does as something you should take into account, or the other person knows better than you.

You may for example be forced to respect the personal space of a person, or respect him or her because of their status, knowledge, rank, age or other reasons. This is quite pleasant for the personality of the person who is respected, since this means reinforcement of this part of his self image.

However, sooner or later everybody will fall through. When you grow up, you eventually to notice that your parents are people with their own issues, ways and limitations. Relations which last for a longer period of time will also come with experiences which are not only about the area for which you respect the other person, and so there will come cracks in the smooth image. The special status which came with 'respect' loses its grip and your relationship slides into normal proportions. Now you will (and want to) react to these people in ways you do to 'normal' personalities.

Recognize this mechanism of respect and the loosing of respect in your relations with others, and clearly see what personalities (that of your self and of others) use it for. Let your investment in this go as you move along, and thus make more mental space available for your inner Self to have this relationship be seen in a new light. Do realize that letting go in this way is something different than making the opposite (respectless) true.