Wanting to return to the experience of being your Self

When you have had an experience through your inner Self and sooner or later your personality returns as the focus of your awareness, you will find this an at least unpleasant experience. So a logical reaction seems to be to work on reclaiming the experience of your inner Self and rejecting the experience of your personality. Which usually is not successful.

Your personality had a good reason to claim he should be in charge in this situation. When you attempt to return to the experience of your inner Self because you found out you rather have that experience, you simply do not listen to this decision. Even more, your desire to experience your inner Self opposes him. So you first have to realize why your personality made this decision, then you can let go of your investment in it. When you fail to do this, your personality will stick to its way of looking at the situation, just like he does in everyday life situations where people do not listen to you or decide your contribution to be uninteresting where you believe it really matters.

On top of that, when you attempt to return to the experience, you are going to 'do' something (be it as simple as watching out whether you succeeded or not), which is always the working space of your personality. The result of this cannot be but a weak attempt to come up with an experience which somewhat resembles the experience of your inner Self. An experience of your inner Self is simply there once you let go of your investment in the personality issue you put before it. So you have to let go of your desire for experiencing your inner Self in order to get it! This is totally opposite to the ways your personality works, who always believes something has to be done in order to get or experience what he wants. You may trust that the experience you had through your inner Self obviously is the natural experience which is ready for you once you let go of your investment in the personality issue you put before it - so simply focus your awareness on this last aspect. How?

Very practically, start with recognizing how your personality came to his choice and what it is this choice truly offers you. Begin with writing down for yourself what happened directly before the moment where your personality decided the focus of your attention should be fully on him once more. There you will find the judgment your personality has applied. Then write down what the experience of your inner Self was, and what exactly are the experiences your personality gives you now. By seeing both options described so clearly together, it is very easy to see how would-be the solution of your personality truly is.

An example: directly before the shift in your awareness your personality believed he would have to do something in order to prevent your partner from getting an unpleasant experience, because this would mean you yourself would have an unpleasant experience as well - which he wants to avoid., and he believed he knew what this should have to be.
The experience of your inner Self was peaceful, joyful and light and very free, and not at all happened what you feared would happen beforehand, on the contrary. The experience of your personality was fearful, manipulative, avoiding and now you find yourself in a row and you have a pain in the neck as well.
This does not read like a success story for your personality, and that is actually the only thing you truly have to realize: that what you thought you wanted, you do not like, and what you believed you had to overrule because it seemed weakness, you much rather have. 

Another example: the experience of your inner Self was the same: peaceful, pleasant, natural and free. Your personality came up with the idea that something should happen in a certain situation in order to create a pleasant experience. However, no inspiration came from your inner Self and so he interpreted this as: something únpleasant was now bound to happen, remain or become. So now he has to get involved himself in order to avoid this, and there the switch to your personality is a fact once more.

In the beginning of your process of increasing awareness, almost every situation offers a justified angle to your personality to make himself seem more important than being your Self, since up till now you have let him rule all aspects of your life, so be not surprised to find him state in every situation that he is the only aspect capable to deal with this. That is why experiences of your inner Self never last long in the beginning: you throw yourself out of them very quickly. However, with practice in as many situations as you are prepared to surrender, you cannot uphold the idea this is a successful concept, and that is enough.

The essence is always: you react to the interpretation of a situation which your personality labels as fearful or at least unpleasant, and of which he decides something has to be done in order to turn it into something better, and that is why you switch to him once more. And since it is this-or-that, you look to everything in your life either through your personality or through your inner Self, this one situation will affect the whole basis of your experience. That is why it is so practical to deal with situations soon after they arise and find out what it is that your personality comes up with, thus you need not dig too much in order to become aware of it and you can start letting your investment in it go. And when you cannot find what's going on or could use some help, you can always ask your inner Self to inspire you!