Support in a situation of loss

What your personality does, is making the 'problem' of the other person real by attempting to feel it himself (= pass it through the personality mechanism of perception - judgment/interpreting - feeling) and after noticing that the outcome indeed can be very unpleasant, stating that 'therefore' the interpretation of the other person is likely to be right as well. The more experience you(r personality) yourself have with unpleasant situations, the sooner you will be convinced of this possibility. Depending on your own personality response you will now close your mind to the other person, create a distance, offer support or any other possibility.

The personality of the person who has to live through it, attempts to make things work for him again, for example when facing a loss, however this is never going to be successful in the well-known ways, since 'gone is gone'. So his personality may for example talk about it over and over again in order to get rid of the intensity of the tension and unpleasant feelings which follow from the same interpretation. 'Shared sadness' is a euphemism in order to be able to uphold the interpretation of both personalities involved. Same applies to 'listening only will help', you let the other person let go off some steam and let him know that you share his interpretation, without making his personality react to other possible interpretations, or weakening him by saying that things are not as bad as they may seem at that moment. Your personality labels this as 'good', however, it still is about personality stuff for everybody involved.

"Things will be less intense over time", ultimately the time that used to be spent on the other person, will be filled with other experiences, which will contribute to weakening the intensity of the original interpretation of 'loss'. 'The feeling of loss will remain for life', yes, but only when you insist on repeating the same interpretation, only to come up with the same answer over and over again.

In itself it is neither right nor wrong to deal with it like this, do realize that in this way you are usually functioning in a pure personality way only, through which you can never find a real solution. Remember there are other possibilities as well to deal with this, that you can let go of the interpretation itself, and are able to inspire through your inner Self, thus strengthening your own ánd offering them remembrance of the inner Self of everybody involved - in this particular situation through asking for a really new way to deal with the personality interpretation 'loss', a solution your personality is not likely to come up with himself. And the last thing your personality will want you to notice, is that through this you will rediscover a place within you of intense Peace, and will know that things are 'right' the way they are, amidst a situation your personality is likely to have labeled as very unpleasant.