Social contacts

There is no wider territory for your personality than that of the social contacts. Since these offer him an endless amount of possibilities for all kinds of personality issues. Many of these are described here on the site. In this column it is about the éssence of social contacts.

Your personality has a goal for each and every contact. You can find this out, simply by asking yourself what it is. A goal can for example be to have the other person feel at ease or accepted, to be nice. There are also less 'nice' ones, like for example wanting to be right, nosiness, attempting to have the other solve unpleasantness, wanting to be liked. Or simply to avoid silence once you find yourself in company. All these 'reasons' have one underlying element in common: attempting to make the world work for you according to the rules of your personality.

Your personality of course focuses on the personality of the others, and the assumptions he makes on how this person is, does and reacts, his needs etc. Because your personality has a goal for the contact, failure is an option as well. Since when you for example are being nice, you do this because you expect pleasant reactions in return. When you avoid silence, you attempt to avoid awkward situations. When you open up to another person and he responds with tension and problems, you find yourself stuck with these somehow as well. Etc. It is through these seemingly failures (or successes!) that you can help yourself to understand clearly this wás a personality issue.

Contacts that are inspired by your inner Self often seem to be very much like those through your personality. However, the intention with which you enter these, is completely different and to begin with, this makes a huge difference for yourself in your experience. Now you also free others from the 'necessity' to react to your personality, which can be a great relief for many! You can make the choice to no longer want to use your contacts to uphold and strengthen your personality. However, it is very likely that you will not want to let go of your investment in this at once, so with and after this choice you can practice a lot in order to effectively make it in everyday situations.

It is very tempting to take the person in front of you and his reactions and state of being as the starting point for you, however, this ensures you will always choose your personality. The opposite is what Awareness is about as well: you first choose your own intention with which you want to look at this situation. Your personality will be eager to state this is egoistic and will not help the other person. Do realize this is the kind of reaction with which your personality attempts to distract you from your process of increasing Awareness, and that they are not a truth in themselves - and this is without taking into consideration what the trúe intentions of your personality are for his reactions ;-)

By the way, this is one of the more intense issues for your personality to face and let go. Since when he lets go of something in this area and it is not taken care of in a way which he can agree to, in his eyes you are now a huge failure ánd he believes he is going to see this reflected in the reactions of others. While he 'knows what is expected from him' and in his eyes it is simple to prevent this from happening. Luckily you do not have to be able to master this all at once, and there will be plenty of situations in your everyday life to practice a small step. And you learn to trust that something else will take the place you thus leave open: the peaceful and very pleasant and familiar experience of your inner Self. And that what your personality fears, never will occur!