The pleasant aspects of having supporters

Nothing is as nice for your personality as having people who support him and agree with him. Because if there is someone in the world out there who agrees with you, that means that your personality can see itself as strengthened. A supporter somehow offers a form of justification for your personality for its point of view in a certain situation. That offers a form of safety. That aspect is so appreciated, that people even organize themselves in clubs of likeminded people on almost any subject: politics, profession, hobby, sports, work, ways of living etc.

A good example is this: somebody told that she drinks one or two glasses of wine per day. She told this to my partner, who usually only takes a glass of wine in the weekend, and that is what he tells her. Now in that moment the mechanism where she does not feel herself supported, comes into motion. What can be expected of the first person, is a bit or a lot of justification of her own choices. My partner could sit back and relax, because he felt supported in his point of view by me, so he did not need any justification.

This is where you see the problem arise immediately: a supporter is no more than a person who makes a judgment and interpretation like yours. Moving from neutral to black or white. But now what when you meet someone who does not agree with you? From a social point of view you should be open-minded and listen to the evidence he or she brings up, and be understanding in return. Now, you may be successful in that at first sight, but deep within you are likely to experience some form of anger, opposition, resistance and other kinds of feelings. That should not come as a surprise to you, you had adopted the point of view that someone now "proves" wrong or less valid. In a moment like that you feel alone, attacked, insecure, and you are likely to come up with all kinds of defence mechanisms to compensate that.

There is no gain possible here. When there are supporters, there are opponents as well. When there are people who agree with you, there are also people who disagree with you. Do not look for safety within this contrast, but look for it in the source of your thinking and your actions. Choices and activities that are guided by your personality never are neutral in themselves, because they have a goal to reach; choices and actions inspired by your inner Self are neutral, you act on them because it feels good, and for no other reason.