Undergoing a situation

Your personality could state that when someone does something that is 'not allowed' based on his standards or values that are common in society or whatever, that according to the things he reads on this site, he has to undergo this. A kind of passivity as a choice for response.

In one way this is a correct assumption, at least seen from his perspective. Undergoing a situation without getting something in return is a quit useless choice to make. This would mean that you perceive what happens, interpret it according to the same standards and with the same intensity as usual, and now you are stuck with even more tension than before because now you believe that you should not express this, thus forcing on you the threat that this may happen again, and have to face a shattered self image (according to your personality, unpleasant action should be followed by a reaction, preferably one with such strength that the person who did this to you will never ever get that idea once again). So it is no surprise that your personality reasons that this solution is 'not realistic' and thus easily convinces you to return to business as usual.

However, what simply is beyond the grasp of your personality is the transforming value to yourself and everybody involved of what might take the place you could leave open through your active choice to use this for awareness of this 'personality-reasoning', let it go, gain an increasing experience with remembering your Self and have your actions be inspired by something else than your personality.

And even though in itself this is not about whether or not you react at all and more about what you use the experience itself for, it is likely that you will notice that your process of awareness will become more inward oriented and that the need for reacting to the person who gave you the input diminishes, simply because you can see that in itself often defensive reaction is not needed in order for you to use the situation for Awareness, perceiving what's happening within you will turn out to be enough already. And doing your own 'homework' will affect your contact anyway, remember what it was like when someone did not return yoúr anger or irritation and thus helped to transform it.