A two-step process

When you have reached the point where you can let go of an issue within yourself, yet do not feel as yet comfortable enough to express this in contacts with others, then you have not gone all the way yet. You have dealt with a part of it, being the part your personality sees as his own contribution. The advantage of this way of dealing with this situation for your personality is, that he can still choose to partly make his ideas true, be it through expecting the standard or the judgment in óther persons. Besides that, he believes he limits damage for himself by stating that you may have remembered your inner Self, but the other person has not yet and 'so' you still need your personality. The closer the relationship, the more difficult your personality may find to let go, because he believes he will lose the other person, make him angry or such. However, this implies you continue to limit this person to your personality interpretation that they will - and have to - always react in the ways your personality predicts and completely ignores the fact that taking himself out of the contact ánd allowing your inner Self in, is very much likely to bring you new experiences.

A practical example: you yourself may have let go of the idea that you have to 'do' something in order to make it a pleasant environment. Yet your personality suspects the other person to still value this, and has a lot of experience in how to create this pleasantness, and so your personality may play the game once more, only now focused on pleasing the other person only since he knows you yourself no longer believe it. For your personality this is a way to avoid possible unpleasant reactions from others when you were not to meet what he believes are their expectations, thus totally ignoring the fact that it has been replaced with something else: your Self. And by the way: when you let 'pleasant' go as a standard, this does not imply the opposite were to be true, it only implies it is no longer an issue.

It is not a bad thing that you move through this phase, it is normal that your personality wants to limit loss of himself as much as possible and so he is likely to be very creative in 'limiting the damage'. However, be alert on this, and understand that becoming aware of this is your next issue. Dare to allow the other persons to be free in their reactions and interpretations. And by not strengthening these in the other person, you automatically make it more easy for the other person to invest less energy in it, thus allowing himself to experience what that is like.