About understanding

Understanding - or 'getting the point - implies an acknowledgement that the other person recognizes a part of the worldview of your personality, it is a kind of appreciation for the thought patterns and 'knowledge' of your personality, and thus another tool to strengthen himself. It is a great mechanism to make things true: when he tells something and another person understands it, it is simple to therefore label it as 'true' or 'logical', thus strengthening the worldview of your personality. And it gets even better when practiced with people who seem to only need half a word - the ones who understand fast - or do like (or have) to understand what you already seem to know, thus being willing to put effort in the understanding process.

This is all very nice and comforting, until the moment where someone does not understand something. There are two aspects here: you yourself do not understand what another person is pointing out, or you tell something and the other person does not understand you. Let's start with the last situation: the other person does not understand you. According to the simple reasoning as described in the first part of this column, this automatically means that you experience this as your personality nót being strengthened, that there should be something wrong with yoú, and this is seen as unpleasant. You are likely to attempt to cover this up and hide it from your awareness by quickly labeling the other person as stupid, explaining it once more, believing that the other person does not have to understand it, but still, the unpleasant feeling stays with you.

When you yourself do not understand a certain issue, you are likely to see yourself as weakened as well, especially when it is within the range of issues you believe you should understand (interest is often a standard here, you are not likely to judge yourself for not being able to understand a complex theory made up by specialists). For the other person there seems to be a logic whereas it does not make sense to you up till now. And since the other does understand it, there múst be something wrong with you, it is 'understandable'. There are various options to minimize the unpleasant feelings your personality now comes up with: doing your best and try harder, pretend to understand, blame the other person for not explaining it properly, telling yourself that you need not understand it anyway, getting irritated, etc.

Become truly aware of this personality mechanism which he applies on the subject of sharing issues, and until now he so successfully banned from your awareness or labeled it to be a personal mistake of yours, and choose to no longer use this process to strengthen your personality. A helpful insight here is: none of the aspects of your inner Self needs 'understanding', you will recognize these within yourself, you already Know them, you only have to remember them.