When someone closes his mind on you

It is likely that you experience it quite often: someone closes his mind on you, puts a fence around himself, or whatever you name it. It all comes down to the same experience: you feel like talking to the outside of someone, rather than having a real contact. But have you ever wondered if this is really true, is it possible for someone to close his mind on you? Or is this at least also about you interpreting certain signals in a way that leads to you yourself closing your mind on this person sooner or later? When you have read more of this site you will be familiar with this conclusion: you bet it's about this last one!

Now the good news is that a person cannot hide his essence, his inner Self. They may try to numb their awareness of it, or minimize it, but this leaves out the possibility at all times to be in contact with it. So this choice of this person to create the illusion of being inaccessible does not mean that you have no choice but to do the same. Whenever you want, at any time, you can choose to open up to the inner Self of yourself and that of others, whatever the other person may say or do or not say or do. And you know this is true, since from experience you may know that for example people that you are very fond of, cannot distract you as easily through this kind of simple attempts to create separation.

The other news is, that your personality sees this closing one's mind as a thing that he has to do something about, as an unwanted situation. Since this person does not open up to you, this cannot be seen as a compliment to your personality. The way in which your personality wants to express this unease is not interesting, he may feel like talking, getting excited, or ignoring, whatever it takes for the other person to sooner or later reconsider this decision to close his mind on you. Usually this is not successful, and this ultimately leads to the choice of your personality to somehow close your mind on the other person in return, until he opens up to you again.

When you find yourself in a situation like this once again, this time remember that there is a choice. You can choose to use this situation to practice to stay open-minded, regardless of the signals the other person is sending out to you. You may realize that your goal here is not to doubt the validity of the other persons choice and to make the other person reconsider this decision-with-unpleasant-consequences-for-you. It is about accepting the input of the other person as a given thing and learn to deal with it yourself. 'Dealing' is not about saying or doing things, or physical presence or not, it is about your mental choice which aspect in yourself you want to strengthen through this situation: personality or inner Self.

And whatever your choice here, it affects the both of you: you either close your mind on the other person, thus strengthening him in the choice of his personality. Or you do no such thing and make it easier for the other person to remember the alternative himself, to introduce a second option to the one his personality offers him. Be not deceived, it is not about the choice the óther person makes, it is about the one yóu make and practice. Keep in mind that the most difficult people often offer you the best teaching-learning situations, since they allow you to experience intensely your own judgments which lead to labels like unpleasant and unwanted, thus keeping you focused on the work you have to do yourself.